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Namespaces Article Talk. Views Read Edit View history. Help Community portal Recent changes Upload file. Download as PDF Printable version. And it's "afternoon", it's "Saturday afternoon", a comfortable beginning, and he's straight on to the next word - it's "in" - "A Saturday afternoon in" - "in" - "in" "in Nov" - "November" - November is spelled wrong, he's left out the second "E", but he's not going back, it looks like he's going for the sentence, and it's the first verb coming up - it's the first verb of the novel, and it's "was", and the crowd are going wild!
And he's writing fluently, easily with flurring strokes of the pen, as he comes up to the middle of this first sentence. And with this eleventh novel well underway, and the prospects of a good days writing ahead, back to the studio.
Aah, come in, come in, Mr Well I have this large quantity of string, a hundred and twenty-two thousand miles of it to be exact, which I inherited, and I thought if I advertised it Ah, but there's a snag, you see.
Due to bad planning, the hundred and twenty-two thousand miles is in three inch lengths. So it's not very useful. Tying up very small parcels, attatching notes to pigeons' legs, uh, destroying household pests Well, if they're bigger than a mouse, you can strangle them with it, and if they're smaller than, you flog them to death with it! All right, it's water absorbent!
Super Absorbent String! Shut up, shut up, shut up! Sex, sex sex, must get sex into it. Wait, I see a television commercial- There's this nude woman in a bath holding a bit of your string. That's great, great, but we need a doctor, got to have a medical opinion. There's a nude woman in a bath with a doctor--that's too sexy.
Put an archbishop there watching them, that'll take the curse off it. Now, we need children and animals. There's two kids admiring the string, and a dog admiring the archbishop who's blessing the string. Why not Archbishop Macarios?
No, no, he's dead So, there's Archbishop Macarios The principle's the same. Bleeding C-of-E. The Mohmedans don't come 'round here wavin' bells at us! We don't get Buddhists playing bagpipes in our bathroom!
Or Hindus harmonizing in the hall! The Shintuists don't come here shattering sheet glass in the shithouse, shouting slogans Anyway, when I get my membership card and blazer badge back from the League of Agnostics, I shall urge the executive to lodge a protest against that religious racket! Pass the butter knife! Well, you could always use the number St. Joseph-the-somewhat- divine-on-the-hill ballistic missile.
It's in the attic. Well I've always said, There's nothing an agnostic can't do if he really doesn't know whether he believes in anything or not. Rigged the market, made a cool forty million, paid off the Lord Mayor, and put the lot into diesel powered nuns.
Sold the bottles right next to [??? Funny looking chap, you know. Buttocks bent the wrong way. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Don't make me laugh. My old Dad used to say to me, "Money doesn't buy you happiness. We used to live in this tiny old house, with greaaaaat big holes in the roof. We used to live in one room, all twenty-six of us, no furniture.
Woulda' been a palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woken up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us! Well when I say "house" it was only a hole in the ground covered by a sheet of tarpolin, it was a house to US. You were lucky to have a LAKE! There were a hundred and fifty of us living in a shoebox in the middle of the road.
You were lucky. We lived for three months in a paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six in the morning, clean the paper bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down the mill for fourteen hours a day week in week out, for sixpence a week.
When we got home, out Dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt! We used to have to get out of the lake at six o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, work twenty hour a day at the mill for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would thrash us to sleep with a broken bottle, if we were LUCKY! Well of course, we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues.
We had half two bits of cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for sixpence every four years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our Mother would kill us, and dance about on our graves singing "Hallelujah.
Hello, good evening and welcome to Election Night Special. There's tremendous excitement here at the moment and we should be getting the first results through any moment now. We're not sure where it will be from, it might be Leicester or from West Byfleet, the polling's been quite heavy in both areas. Ah, I'm just getting I'm just getting Urgh, argh!
And now let's go straight over to Leicester. And it's a straight fight here at Leicester and we're expecting the result any moment now. Walrustitty the silly candidate with his agent and his silly wife. Well there we have the first result of the election and the Silly party has held Leicester. Well pretty much as I predicted, except that the Silly party won. Er, I think this is largely due to the number of votes cast.
Well there's a big swing here to the Silly Party, but how big a swing I'm not going to tell you. I think one should point out that in this constituency since the last election a lot of very silly people have moved into new housing estates with the result that a lot of sensible voters have moved further down the road the other side of number er, And here's the result.
Well there you have it, the first result of the election as the Silly Party take Luton. Well this is a very significant result. Luton, normally a very sensible constituency with a high proportion of people who aren't a bit silly, has gone completely ga-ga.
And this one is from Harpenden Southeast. A very interesting constituency this: in addition to the official Silly candidate there is an unofficial Very Silly candidate, in the slab of concrete, and he could well split the silly vote here at Harpenden Southeast.
Kevin Phillips-Bong. You polled no votes at all. Not a sausage. Bugger all. Are you at all disappointed with this performance? Not at all.
As I always say: Climb every mountain Ford every stream, Follow every by-way, Till you find your dream. Sings: A dream that will last All the love you can give Every day of your life For as long as you live.
All together now! Climb every mountain Ford every stream And I've just heard from Luton that my aunt is ill. Possibly gastro-enteritis, possibly just catarrh. No I'm sorry, there isn't time, we have to pick up a few results you may have missed.
A little pink pussy-cat has taken Barrow-in-Furness -- that's a gain from the Liberals there. The cover art, with its graphic image of spilling guts, was illustrated by Les Edwards. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. From Infogalactic: the planetary knowledge core. Jump to: navigation , search. The album also has a longer version of " Medical Love Song ," with added instrumentation and previously unheard verses which mix out Eric Idle 's guide vocals and push Graham Chapman's lead vocal to the forefront.
This was the first compilation to include tracks from the Life of Brian and The Meaning of Life soundtracks, albeit in remixed form. The cover design by Terry Gilliam marked his first original album artwork since 's Instant Record Collection. The original vinyl release contained a booklet featuring illustrated lyrics to all the songs. Although the album did not chart on its original release, it was re-promoted following the successful reissue of " Always Look on the Bright Side of Life " in , when it reached No.
On 30 June , the album was re-released as Monty Python Sings Again on CD and as a digital download, expanded with six additional recordings: three out-takes from Monty Python's Contractual Obligation Album and three new tracks from Eric Idle, recorded for inclusion in the team's reunion shows Monty Python Live Mostly.View credits, reviews, tracks and shop for the Gatefold Vinyl release of The Final Rip Off on Discogs. Label: Virgin - MPD 1 • Format: 2x, Vinyl LP, Compilation Gatefold • Country: UK • Genre: Non-Music, Stage & Screen • Style: Comedy, Novelty, Parody/5(20).